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This is a list of 540 white cards in Cards Against Humanity:

Cards Against Humanity/List of black cards

72 virgins

8 oz of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin

A Bop It

A Gypsy curse

A Super Soaker full of cat pee

A bag of magic beans

A balanced breakfast

A beached whale

A big black dick

A big hoopla about nothing

A bleached asshole

A bloody pacifier

A brain tumor

A can of whoop-ass

A clandestine butt scratch

A cooler full of organs

A crappy little hand

A death ray

A defective condom

A disappointing birthday party

A drive-by shooting

A falcon with a cap on its head

A fetus

A foul mouth

A gassy antelope

A gentle caress of the inner thigh

A good sniff

A homoerotic volleyball montage

A hot mess

A lifetime of sadness

A look-see

A low standard of living

A mating display

A micro-penis

A middle-aged man on roller skates

A mime having a stroke

A moment of silence

A monkey smoking a cigar

A mopey zoo lion

A murder most foul

A nuanced critique

A passionate Latino lover

A really cool hat

A rival dojo

A robust mongoloid

A sad handjob

A salty surprise

A sassy black woman

A sausage festival

A sea of troubles

A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis

A stray pube

A thermonuclear detonation

A time travel paradox

A tiny horse

A web of lies

A windmill full of corpses

A woman scorned

A zesty breakfast burrito

AIDS

AXE Body Spray

Aaron Burr

Active listening

Actually taking candy from a baby

Adderall

African children

Agriculture

Alcoholism

All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99

Altar boys

American Gladiators

Amputees

An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist

An Oedipus complex

An asymmetric boob job

An erection that lasts longer than four hours

An honest cop with nothing left to lose

An icepick lobotomy

Anal beads

Another goddamn vampire movie

Apologizing

Appreciative snapping

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Asians who aren't good at math

Assless chaps

Attitude

Auschwitz

Authentic Mexican cuisine

Autocannibalism

BATMAN!!!

Balls

Barack Obama

Beating your wives

Bees?

Being a busy adult with many important things to do

Being a dick to children

Being a dinosaur

Being a motherfucking sorcerer

Being fabulous

Being marginalized

Being on fire

Being rich

Bill Nye the Science Guy

Bingeing and purging

Bitches

Black people

Bling

Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars

Boogers

Bosnian chicken farmers

Breaking out into song and dance

Cards Against Humanity

Carnies

Catapults

Centaurs

Chainsaws for hands

Charisma

Cheating in the Special Olympics

Child abuse

Child beauty pageants

Children on leashes

Chivalry

Christopher Walken

Chutzpah

Civilian casualties

Clams

Classist undertones

Coat hanger abortions

Cockfights

College

Concealing a boner

Consultants

Copping a feel

Coughing into a vagina

Count Chocula

Crippling debt

Crystal meth

Cuddling

Customer service representatives

Cybernetic enhancements

Daddy issues

Dancing with a broom

Darth Vader

Date rape

Dead babies

Dead parents

Deflowering the princess

Dental dams

Dick Cheney

Dick fingers

Doin' it in the butt

Doing the right thing

Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza

Dorito breath

Drinking alone

Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up

Dry heaving

Dwarf tossing

Dying

Dying of dysentery

Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale

Eating an albino

Eating the last known bison

Edible underpants

Elderly Japanese men

Embryonic stem cells

Emotions

Enormous Scandinavian women

Erectile dysfunction

Estrogen

Ethnic cleansing

Eugenics

Euphoria by Calvin Klein

Exactly what you'd expect

Exchanging pleasantries

Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor

Explosions

Fabricating statistics

Famine

Fancy Feast

Farting and walking away

Fear itself

Feeding Rosie O'Donnell

Fiery poops

Figgy pudding

Finding a skeleton

Finger painting

Fingering

Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog

Five-Dollar Footlongs

Flash flooding

Flesh-eating bacteria

Flightless birds

Flying sex snakes

Foreskin

Forgetting the Alamo

Former President George W. Bush

Free samples

Friction

Friendly fire

Friends who eat all the snacks

Friends with benefits

Frolicking

Full frontal nudity

Gandalf

Gandhi

Geese

Genetically engineered supersoldiers

Genghis Khan

Genital piercings

George Clooney's musk

German dungeon porn

Getting abducted by Peter Pan

Getting drunk on mouthwash

Getting in her pants, politely

Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon

Getting really high

Getting so angry that you pop a boner

Ghosts

Giving 110 percent

Gladiatorial combat

Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards

Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook

Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts

Global warming

Gloryholes

GoGurt

Goats eating cans

Goblins

God

Golden showers

Good grammar

Grandma

Grave robbing

Guys who don't call

Half-assed foreplay

Harry Potter erotica

Heartwarming orphans

Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II

Heteronormativity

Hipsters

Historical revisionism

Historically black colleges

Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine

Homeless people

Hope

Hormone injections

Horrifying laser hair removal accidents

Horse meat

Hot Pockets

Hot cheese

Hot people

Hulk Hogan

Hurricane Katrina

Inappropriate yodeling

Incest

Insatiable bloodlust

Intelligent design

Italians

Jafar

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Jerking off into a pool of children's tears

Jew-fros

Jewish fraternities

Jibber-jabber

John Wilkes Booth

Judge Judy

Just the tip

Justin Bieber

Kamikaze pilots

Kanye West

Keanu Reeves

Keg stands

Kids with ass cancer

Kim Jong-il

Lactation

Lady Gaga

Lance Armstrong's missing testicle

Land mines

Laying an egg

Leaving an awkward voicemail

Leprosy

Leveling up

Licking things to claim them as your own

Linsday Lohan at 55

Literally eating shit

Lockjaw

Loose lips

Lumberjack fantasies

Lunchables

Mad hacky-sack skills

Making a pouty face

Making the penises kiss

Man meat

Masturbation

Mathletes

Me time

MechaHitler

Media coverage

Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament

Men

Menstruation

Michael Jackson

Michelle Obama's arms

Moral ambiguity

Morgan Freeman's voice

Mouth herpes

Mr. Clean, right behind you

Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him)

Multiple stab wounds

Mutually-assured destruction

My collection of high-tech sex toys

My genitals

My humps

My inner demons

My machete

My relationship status

My sex life

My soul

My vagina

Natalie Portman

Natural male enhancement

Natural selection

Nazis

Necrophilia

Neil Patrick Harris

New Age music

Nickelback

Nicolas Cage

Nipple blades

Nocturnal emissions

Not giving a shit about the Third World

Not reciprocating oral sex

Nubile slave boys

Obesity

Object permanence

Old-people smell

Ominous background music

One thousand Slim Jims

Oompa-Loompas

Opposable thumbs

Overcompensation

Overpowering your father

Oversized lollipops

Pabst Blue Ribbon

Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum

Panda sex

Panty raids

Parting the Red Sea

Party Poopers

Passable transvestites

Passing a kidney stone

Passive-aggressive Post-it notes

Pedophiles

Peeing a little bit

Penis envy

Picking up girls at the abortion clinic

Pictures of boobs

Pistol-whipping a hostage

Pixelated bukkake

Police brutality

Pooping back and forth. Forever.

Poor life choices

Poor people

Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes

Porn stars

Powerful thighs

Prancing

Praying the gay away

Preteens

Pretending to care

Pterodactyl eggs

Puberty

Public ridicule

Pulling out

Puppies!

Queefing

Quiche

Quivering jowls

Racially-biased SAT questions

Racism

Raping and pillaging

Raptor attacks

Re-gifting

Repression

Republicans

Revenge fucking

Riding off into the sunset

Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart

Road head

Robert Downey, Jr

RoboCop

Ronald Reagan

Roofies

Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse

Same-sex ice dancing

Santa Claus

Sarah Palin

Saxophone solos

Scalping

Science

Scientology

Scrotum tickling

Scrubbing under the folds

Sean Connery

Sean Penn

Seduction

Self-loathing

Seppuku

Serfdom

Sexting

Sexual humiliation

Sexual tension

Sexy Siamese twins

Sexy pillow fights

Shaft

Shapeshifters

Shaquille O'Neal's acting career

Sharing needles

Skeletor

Slow motion

Smallpox blankets

Smegma

Sniffing glue

Soiling oneself

Soup that is too hot

Space muffins

Spectacular abs

Sperm whales

Spontaneous human combustion

Statistically validated stereotypes

Stephen Hawking talking dirty

Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis

Stranger danger

Sudden Poop Explosion Disease

Suicidal thoughts

Sunshine and rainbows

Surprise Butt-Sex!

Sweet, sweet vengeance

Switching to Geico

Swooping

Take-backsies

Taking off your shirt

Tangled Slinkys

Tasteful side-boob

Teaching a robot to love

Team-building exercises

Teenage pregnancy

Tentacle porn

Testicular torsion

That thing that electrocutes your abs

The American Dream

The Amish

The Big Bang

The Blood of Christ

The Care Bear Stare

The Chinese gymnastics team

The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy

The Donald Trump Seal of Approval

The Fanta girls

The Force

The Gulags

The Hamburglar

The Holy Bible

The Hustle

The Jews

The KKK

The Kool-Aid Man

The Little Engine That Could

The Make-A-Wish Foundation

The Pope

The Rapture

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The South

The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System

The Three-Fifths compromise

The Trail of Tears

The Underground Railroad

The Virginia Tech Massacre

The World of Warcraft

The boners of the elderly

The chronic

The clitoris

The economy

The folly of man

The forbidden fruit

The four arms of Vishnu

The gays

The glass ceiling

The hardworking Mexican

The harsh light of day

The heart of a child

The hiccups

The homosexual agenda

The inevitable heat death of the universe

The invisible hand

The milk man

The miracle of childbirth

The placenta

The profoundly handicapped

The shambling corpse of Larry King

The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge

The terrorists

The token minority

The true meaning of Christmas

The violation of our most basic human rights

The Übermensch

Third base

Tom Cruise

Toni Morrison's vagina

Too much hair gel

Tripping balls

Tweeting

Two midgets shitting into a bucket

Unfathomable stupidity

Uppercuts

Vehicular manslaughter

Viagra

Vigilante justice

Vigorous jazz hands

Vikings

Waiting 'til marriage

Waking up halfnaked in a Denny's parking lot

Waterboarding

Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry

When you fart and a little bit comes out

Whipping it out

White people

White privilege

Wifely duties

William Shatner

Winking at old people

Wiping her butt

Women in yogurt commercials

Women's suffrage

Words, words, words

World peace

YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS

Yeast

Zeus's sexual appetites

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